In the blink of an Eye

I do not believe in love at first sight.

We should rather say, ‘infatuation’ at first sight. Sure, we would like to acknowledge ‘love’ as such but I do believe – and science has shown – that it’s rather, a chemical reaction that elicits this attraction. The initial impression when we meet someone new is based on chemical signals we’re giving off, which leads us to be intensely attracted to that person; it’s not instant love. You are ‘in love’ then with time and the proverbial ‘seven sacks of salt’, it turns into Love.

Quite a bit of research has been done on this subject. There are actual scientists who’ve studied how we ‘smell to’ one another. Yes, body odor does play a role and we’re talking about freshly showered, not after a long day’s hard work. Their experiments revolve around our normal human scent; the way we ‘smell’ to one another subconsciously. The theory is, that our brains subliminally notice these little ‘messengers’ floating all around us. Though undetectable to our noses, scientists claim that they do exist.

Experts say that ‘Love’ is a choice; that we choose to love.

I’m a bit of a stickler for accuracy, details, common sense and logic. My bullshit meter is always on! If I find something delusional, illogical, stupid, gullible, idiotic, or ignorant; I’m calling it out. Don’t like it? Bite me!

I believe myself to be pretty open-minded and a logical thinker but I just cannot get my mind around this. I don’t believe that love is a choice. I strongly believe love is a feeling and a powerful emotion; we ‘fall’ in love, we do not choose to; it just happens. If they say that love is a choice, then by that same reasoning, ‘hate’ should also be a choice, which I just cannot agree with. These two highly intense emotions is something that – due to circumstance – happens involuntarily inside us. How then can it be a choice?

If I had to believe the ‘experts’, then according to them, this is how my mind is supposed to think; If a loved-one just died, I can ‘choose’ to be happy instead of the intense heartbreak I feel.

My reasoning; if they say love is a choice then all emotions should be a choice. I should then be able to choose to be happy when I’m sad, and be able to choose to laugh when I’m crying. And thus, the opposite should also then be true; that I can choose to be sad when I’m extremely happy or choose to cry when I’m having a laughing fit?

Love and emotions are regulated in our brain, specifically, the amygdala. The biology of love originates in our brain, the emotional core of the human nervous system, the cerebral cortex. The brain of a human ‘in love’ is flooded with sensations transmitted by the vagus nerve, creating much of what we experience as emotion. Oxytocin, known as the love hormone, provokes feelings of contentment, calmness, and security, which is associated with mate-bonding. Vasopressin is linked to behavior that produces long-term, monogamous relationships. And therefor I say, that none of this is can be directly controlled by a choice, by a decision.

Love originates in a good-natured person from a balanced combination of our instincts, heart, mind, and soul; what the heart feels, the mind confirms.  Something as powerful and overwhelming as love; my mind just cannot accept that it’s a human choice…